July 24, 2022. I've really been on a Log Horizon kick. When I was at a friend's place recently, I watched some eps of it on his computer.

The idea behind this place started from a fantasy of me being in Log Horizon as a scribe, and i'd write down my feelings and observations of the main characters as they struggled in their new reality in the MMO Elder Tales. And yes, I called the book I was writing it "Tome of Despair" lol.

I don't think I'll be able to put down all my feelings or why I feel that way, about the show world and how I feel about it and such. I dont know how to even begin to describe why I like imagining myself there. Of course, I dont know much about the game their stuck in to get a full idea of what I would have done realisticly if I was from their world and not this one.

The opening, DATABASE, is a banger tho. Tho more so when paired with the anime visuals, reminding me of the characters' struggles and accomplishments, it really lights a fire in me combined with the little bit of the song.

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July 25, 4:20am. I'm suppose to be sleeping, but couldn't. I did some thinking and I got something I want to share that is related. Tho I'm tired, so... words may fail me, or my brain fails to word. Sorry.

While I was watching Log Horizon at my friend's place, he told me I could be watching better anime and I dont have to waste my time with it. It upsetted me and stuff, and I felt with those feelings just now, and I think I know why I like this series, tho I only seen the first 2 seasons.

... Some questions I asked myself was why I fantasize about being in the anime/world. My friend probably just has anime that appeal more to his fantasies. And Log Horizon appeals to mine, and after thinking things through, I feel like I know why. It might not make sense, but the header image of this journal blog sums it up. Part of the lyrics of the opening that pumps me up.

"In the Database Database

I'm struggling in the Database Wow Wow

It doesn't even matter if there is no hope

As the madness of the system grows"

Some spoilers of the first season, people find themselves stuck in this MMO world. Slowly figuring out how things are and how they work, like combat. Most foods look great but taste terrible, except for some basic ingredients like fruits. Death doesnt mean the end as people respawn in certain areas afterwards. Basic necessities are fairly cheap, but most people don't know what to do with themselves, and more.

It's not totally abysmal, but the main characters, and everyone else struggles in this world. Not with everything, but living in the world can still be difficult and painful, and with death not even being an escape... Seeing the main characters struggle to make things better, and it's not all solved through battle/dominance. The way that subclasses can have their uses, so adventurers aren't all self-sufficient, and so everyone can contribute something that other people could need or use. That's my fucking fantasy! <3

I imagine myself as a character alongside them because I basically want to go through the struggles of life and trying to make things better alongside them. I struggle to think of how my character could be useful and stuff or if my character would really belong and contribute... and that's how I feel in the real world. Something I've been trying to do lately, and I've also talked about this in a previous entry (probably) is that I've been using imagining myself in that world as a way to try and figure things out for here, and... it's even doubled, cause I literally imagine myself being a scribe, doing this exact thing I'm doing now; using my observations of the characters to try to help myself grow as I struggle in this "database".

It's poetic, but also funny to me lol.

I'll probably talk more about Log Horizon in the future. Maybe. But this should be good enough for this entry. Haha, god... This is really helping me.