August 14 2022. It feels like things in general have been out of control. This whole week has been more or less terrible. I dont see myself being able to stick with anything I try. Life is just really hard, and sometimes it's frustratingly confusing.

I want to get more work for more money, but as it stands, it's very hard for me to cope with this week, even with only a day of work. I want to use this coming week, where I dont work at all, to rest a bit and try to... gain my bearings again. Buy with how today has been going, freaking Saturday and Sunday suppose to be days to relax, so how the fuck am I suppose to believe I'll be able to relax next week?
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It's the 15th now, early morning. I want to put down that I have a friend who means alot to me. I feel like we're pretty similar deep down.

There are times where times are tough and he lashes out at any idea that he's good at all, and he's just so frustrated at himself and/life that there's too much and he just needs to get it out. It's not all that healthy, but I don't really do healthy things either when I'm in a similar state.

... Life sucks and it's painful, for him too. He continues to live despite wanting to stop, and it kind of helps inspire me and guves me strength to continue living despite how much it sucks too. He seems to go through more pain than me, and it makes me sad, and I try to be there for him, but it doesnt make things less painful for him, and I can understand that... I'm glad that he's still alive. It's hard and painful, but he's still here, with me, and it makes me want to try my best and do the same. He makes me feel accepted despite the fact I'm awful.